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Patient Information

The main telephone rings at a hospital, and the operator answers.

An elderly woman on the other end says, 'Hello, darling. I'd like to talk to someone who can tell me something about one of your patients.'

'Sure. Let me switch you to the Patient Information department,' the operator says. 'One moment, please.'

'Patient Information, how may I help you?' a new voice asks.

'I'd like to know how Mrs. Margaret Brown in Room 302 is doing?' the woman asks.

'Brown. Brown. Let me see,' the cheery volunteer replies. 'Oh, yes, Mrs. Brown is doing very well. In fact, her doctor says if she continues improving, he's going to send her home tomorrow.'

'Thank goodness!' the woman exclaims. 'That's wonderful! I'm so happy to hear that. That's absolutely wonderful news!'

'From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close relative,' the volunteer says.

'Close relative, my foot! Not even close,' the woman says. 'I'm Mrs. Margaret Brown! My doctor doesn't tell me anything.'

Wilma - Kansas


A well-respected surgeon is relaxing on his sofa one afternoon, after just arriving home from working the late shift at the hospital. As he's tuning in to a movie on television, the phone rings.

'Hello,' Dr. Johnson says.

'Joe, Bob and I are at the golf course right now,' Jim, a colleague says. 'Bill canceled on us, and we need a fourth player.'

'I'll be right there,' Dr. Johnson says.

As he's putting on his shoes and preparing to leave, his wife asks, 'Is it serious?'

'Very serious, honey,' he replies. 'Three doctors are already there.'

Doug - Colorado