We've Always Known


| 3/1/2016 1:25:00 PM


Martin ParmerWe always wanted land on which to build a homestead.

But then, some stuff happened:

Decades of work and learning,
Trying to build a career, make money and raise a family,
Working in gardening, eating fresh vegetables (too much most of the time),
Loving the smell of freshly tilled soil, the warmer temperatures of spring,
Doing manual labor. Building houses with my dad and brother, gardening, cutting wood,
Making remarkable financial blunders,
Beginning to notice that the only times I could truly decompress and stop hearing the thunderous noise of all that I deal with daily, was when I was in nature, with no timetable, and very little agenda,
Waking up one day in my mid forties with my kids grown and my knees hurting.

Sound familiar to anyone? I have all kinds of stories I could tell about each entry in the above list, but the sum of them kinds of rolls up into a bigger story. It’s a story that I’ve now learned many others are experiencing. It’s a story that my wife of 31 years and I now understand much better than we did those 31 years ago.

Did anyone older than you ever tell you, “Boy, if I only knew at your age what I know now!”? Well, I did. I always wondered what those old timers meant. Now, of course, I do.



As we reached middle age, that bigger story began to reveal itself to us: Our final half to third of our lives is upon us, and if there were ever anything we wanted to really do, we had better figure it out and start planning for it. Wow, how’s that for the age old life “epiphany.” Starting to figure this sort of thing out may be a blinding flash of the obvious to some, but, depending on where you are in your life, you may or not be ready for it. So for five years, my wife and I talked. Uh, that’s not a misprint. Five years. If you think about it, is five years really too long? Think of all the complications of life a couple should understand as a couple. The impact and interaction of children, careers, current circumstances, extended families, friends, church, and more, are substantial. These lives we build aren’t exactly simple things to wade through and understand. And, if one of you wants to live in a rural setting and the other wants to be 3 minutes from Starbucks, you really need to understand this.