A game warden spotted a camper walking back to his campsite carrying a 5-gallon bucket.
'Good evening, sir,' said the game warden, noticing several live fish swimming in the bucket. 'Can I see your fishing license?'
'I don't have one,' the camper said.
'Do you realize that you must have a fishing license to fish at the lake?' asked the game warden.
'Oh, I haven't been fishing,' the camper said.
'Then how do you explain that bucket of fish you're carrying?' asked the game warden.
'I didn't catch these fish out of the lake,' the camper said. 'These are my pet fish.'
'Sure, they are,' replied the game warden.
'Really, sir, they are. Every night, I take them down to the lake and let them swim for a while, then I give a whistle, and they swim right back into the bucket.'
'Do you honestly think I'm going to fall for a line like that?' the game warden asked.
'I'll prove it,' the camper said, 'if you'll just follow me and my pets back down to the water.'
Suspicious, and a bit curious, the game warden agreed. The men walked to the lake's edge, where the camper poured the bucket of fish into the water.
After a couple of minutes, the game warden said, 'OK, they've been out long enough. Go ahead and whistle them back in.'
'Whistle who back in?' the camper asked.
'The fish,' the game warden replied.
Grinning, the camper asked, 'What fish?'
A first-grade class was putting on a singing program for the community in order to raise money for new playground equipment. The last song was 'God Bless America.'
As the children began singing, the teacher realized that they had not practiced enough when she heard them sing '… Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with a light from a bulb.'
A man from the Netherlands was talking to an American, jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Dutch flag.
'Our flag symbolizes taxes,' he said. 'We get red when we talk about them, white when we see them, and blue after we pay them.'
'Same with us,' said the American, 'but we see stars, too.'
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