Two youngsters were examining bathroom scales at a department store, while their mothers were looking at bath towels a few feet away.
'What's it for?' Billy asked.
'You stand on it, and it makes you mad,' Joey explained. 'That's all I know.'
'How do you know that?' Billy asked.
'My mom uses it all the time,' Joey replied.
A not-so-intelligent woman carrying a puppy walks into the vet's office and asks if she can use their puppy scale.
'Sorry, ma'am, our puppy scale is broken,' says the receptionist, 'but we can figure out what he weighs using the big scale. We'll weigh mother and baby together, then weigh mom alone. Then we'll just subtract the second number from the first.'
'Oh, that won't work,' says the woman.
'Why not?' asks the receptionist.
'Because,' whispers the woman, covering the puppy's ears, 'I'm not his real mother. I adopted him.'