These Boots

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There was an old farmer named Martin,
From his many shoes you can’t part him,
Wife says, “They must go!”
He shrieks, “No, no, no!”
This stubborn old farmer named Martin.

My husband said, “Come here. Look at this. Don’t you think this would make a good story?” He was talking about his footwear. He’s finally gotten it that any and everything on this ranch is a potential subject for a story. I’ve often thought about writer’s block and it ain’t here, folks. Just swing, well, a dead anything, and you’ll hit a story in the making. That’s just how it is. There, I’ve said it.

So on this particular day the husband says, “Get out your camera. Take a picture. I bet you can think of things to say about my boots,” and I think, well, yes, the first thing I can think of is you have too many! Then he goes on to describe what they’re all for and in a minute I can clearly see why he needs them all.

Going clockwise starting at the top:

  1. Tennis shoes also known as sneakers – worn when he wants walking comfort and he doesn’t need …
  2. Cowboy bootshis all-time favorite. They’re work boots for work that isn’t gross and disgusting.
  3. Insulated waterproof boots – worn for work and riding in wet and cold conditions.
  4. Navy SEAL combo boots that are 100-percent waterproof – worn when wading in really deep water such as when he’s putting boards in the weir. They are also easy to walk in.
  5. Totallyworn out cowboy boots – worn for work when the work is gross and disgusting. Like walking in cow poop.
  6. Shearling boots – worn when the tootsies feel cold.
  7. Cheap-o water shoes – worn at the lake for swimming and bobbing around in the water. The wade to shore is rocky.
  8. Rubber boots – for wading in the creek so your pants don’t get wet.
  9. Dress cowboy boots – worn for nice occasions.
  10. The cat doesn’t care about any of this. He’s only interested in licking his leg.
  11. Don’t you love the cast aluminum boot jack in the upper right corner? I’m not sure what it is. A big ole stag beetle?

My husband is Imelda Marcos in work boots. I bet Imelda could come up with an explanation for why she had all those shoes, too! I think of the day my grandmother explained to me how, when she was a girl, they had two pairs of shoes, period. One for working and one for church. They got a new pair when the old ones completely wore out and could no longer be repaired by the cobbler.

Don’t you think we’re a little bit spoiled?